When Love and Society Become Aggressive
Aggression and violence are examples of the darker side of humanity, and while they may seem similar, aggression results in harming an unwilling individual while violence results in physical aggression — possibly involving death. There is physical aggression and relational aggression, and while the goal of physical aggression is more general, relational aggression targets a person’s feelings and well-being within a partnership or group.
The easiest way to differentiate aggression and violence is to consider a violent act as aggressive, but an aggressive act may not be violent. Additionally, physical aggression may be directed at a stranger — even at random — while relational aggression is more likely to occur between romantic partners, family members, and the members of other social groups.
According to the research collected by professor Brad Bushman, a person is most likely to resort to physical aggression and violence during the age range of 18 to 24, but excessive drinking of alcohol and rewards for involvement in violent sports and video gaming increase the outcome. Professor Brad Bushman also stated that relational aggression is likely to occur in a relationship when the female is provoked vs. the male, and while men are less likely to resort to physical relational aggression within a relationship, than women, male aggression is more likely to result in deadly violence.
The key to preventing aggression and violence is to not promote and reward these behaviors while refusing to punish aggressors with similar levels of aggression and violence.
Intimate Partner and Family-of-Origin Violence
Intimate partner abuse is another term for relational aggression, and it involves physical, emotional, and sexual aggressions. According to the article, “The Relationship Between Family-of-Origin Violence, Hostility, and Intimate Partner Violence in Men Arrested for Domestic Violence: Testing a Mediational Model,” family-of-origin violence, or pre-adulthood abuse, increases the risks of physical and emotional intergenerational violence.
This research also shows that “problematic interpersonal relationships, antisocial personality traits, substance use, depression, anxiety, and impulsivity” are key factors in causing family-of-origin aggression. Nihilistic thoughts and mistrust of others and society can influence a person to become more aggressive when responding to others.
While it is possible that both parents may be involved in physically or emotionally abusing a child, sometimes one parent may be more aggressive, or one parent may be physically abusive while the other is psychologically aggressive. The article states that the intimate partner violence between parents — rather than the violence directed at a child — is less likely to increase the chances of fostering the same behavior in the child while parent-to-child violence has a high likelihood.
Intimate partner abuse impacts victims negatively because these individuals grow up defensive, with antisocial feelings, and unable to trust anyone.
This is why future relationships with significant others and their own children are at risk of becoming victims of relational aggression if the person is unable to change these traits and behaviors; therefore, it increases the chance of becoming a criminal by committing violence.
Aggressive Personality
Figure 4 in the article “Human Aggression,” by Bushman and Anderson, further clarifies how an aggressive personality is created. It begins with viewing or taking part in an aggressive action — regularly, especially daily. The researchers Bushman and Anderson say that this increases aggressive beliefs, attitudes, perceptual schemata, expectation schemata, behavior scripts, and desensitization.
The schematas relate to the way a person perceives and categorizes a situation, person, and object while a behavior script involves a behavior or action that is expected in a certain situation. The result is an aggressive personality that continues to affect personological and situational variables, and the cycle continues while increasing the likelihood that a more violent hobby or activity is pursued. The personological variables are consistent aggressive traits while situational variables are triggers of aggression.
Additionally, an individual that continues to foster aggressive traits will prefer to associate with others that have similar traits which makes it more difficult to listen to the advice given by those who are not aggressive.
Bushman and Anderson state that “’boot camps,’ individual therapy, ‘scared straight’ programs, and group therapy” are ineffective while successful intervention includes promoting prosocial behaviors and the involvement of the community — especially at an early age.
Child Abuse
It is likely that dating violence and aggression in relationships stems from experiencing violence as a child. The article by the researchers Afifi, Mota, Sareen, and MacMillan, explains that children that are victims of “physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect” or view “intimate partner violence” between parents, are at a high risk of committing the same aggressive behaviors in adolescence and in adulthood.
Physical neglect, emotional neglect, and emotional abuse are forms of aggression while physical abuse and sexual abuse are aggressive behaviors that are violent. Within a couple or among relatives, this would all qualify as relational aggression, and while a behavior like emotional neglect may not be as obviously damaging as sexual abuse, it can still affect mental health.
Childhood abuse may influence an adolescent to victimize others — or increase the likelihood of becoming a victim — through dating violence.
Further, some victims of child abuse may recreate the same environment with their own children and create a cycle of violence and aggression. While punishment is appropriate when raising a child, Afifi, Mota, Sareen, and MacMillan state that the form of punishment applied will likely define how mentally stable the child will become later in life since “child maltreatment and IPV jeopardizes the health of all family members, which significantly impacts communities and societies.”
In order to avoid aggressive habits, Afifi, Mota, Sareen, and MacMillan recommend educating parents about refusing to apply physical discipline, and adolescents should be taught the signs of intimate partner violence.
Aggression in Society
Aggression and violence results in a variety of consequences — some direct while others slowly expand with age. Negative associations influence thoughts, and these aggressive memories and biases can become acts of discrimination towards strangers or acts of frustration and manipulation towards relatives and significant others. For example, at the individual level, internalized self-hatred can cause a person to mutilate oneself or to inflict misery onto another person who feels compelled to love the aggressor — no matter what happens between each other.
Aggression impacts groups of people by creating an in-group vs out-group mentality where aggressive behavior may become acceptable forms of retaliation towards members of the out-groups. The culture within the in-group may condone aggressive actions among its own members, as well. Violence has a negative impact on society because, once aggressive or violent acts are seen as common — whether they are or aren’t — the behavior is easier to accept culturally.
This widespread acceptance will likely lead to an increase in aggression. On the other hand, as stated by professor Brad Bushman, the global trends related to aggression and violence do show a definite decrease with time, and it is likely to continue into the future.
This may mean that people are finding other ways to express their anger and frustration that does not result in any form of aggression directed at a significant other or an innocent stranger.
Conclusion
I think it’s a practical and reasonable idea to talk about how to discipline a child since many of us will or have had one. The problem is in deciding where aggressive discipline ends, and child abuse begins because there are varying opinions. Since family-of-origin violence is associated with intimate partner violence, substance abuse, antisocial personality traits, and mental illness, these factors could determine the likelihood of a parent to become too aggressive.
Not everyone that lacks social and interpersonal skills, or lives in poverty, will discipline a child to the point of actual maltreatment, but living with these traits and situations do increase the risk.
Legitimate child abuse results in angry children with thoughts that are “characterized by mistrust and a belief that all individuals are selfish, dishonest, mean, and will intentionally cause harm.” Of course, pushing a child aside, hard, in order to avoid an accident, is not violence.
I believe very aggressive discipline — that blurs the line between parenting and abuse — is due to frustration and stress, and these parents may feel that physical discipline is a quicker solution than finding the time to teach a moral lesson to a child.
I believe that women are more likely to become aggressive in relationships because we tend to express our emotions more than men; therefore, the inability to be understood or respected in a relationship, with the addition of improper conflict management, is what may cause the aggressive behavior. Since men are expected to be less expressive, it makes sense that they would bottle up their anger until they reach their limit, and the loss of self-control becomes violent.
I now understand that as a woman, I do use relational aggression, and physical aggression is rare for me. Emotional warfare is more effective in the long-term than physical violence, I think, because it can foster negative thoughts inside multiple minds — like a slow, painful death of the spirit. It reminds me of bullying among adolescent girls, and suicidal ideation is an effect that some victims will experience. Yes, I think relational aggression is scarier.
As for dysfunctional couples, they may be reenacting behaviors that they witnessed or experienced in their youth since “child maltreatment history is associated with increased odds of violence in an intimate relationship in adulthood.”
All victims, whether children or adults, should reach out to others. Sometimes other people may need to intervene. This is why employees at daycare centers and schools are being taught to look for signs of abuse. Therapy is more successful with those that are younger while adults may have a more difficult time changing their openness to hostility. The greatest lesson that these victims need to be taught is that true love does not harm, and it may take a while before they learn to trust anyone.
